Eddie Dombrowski in: Grand Pizza Extravaganza!
by Mateus The Corrupt
Summary: Based off of a crazy idea from SILENTHILLchan. Silent Hill opts to take a different approach to punishing Eddie. Genfic, involves various monsters from Silent Hill 2 eating or failing to eat pizza.


Based off of a crazy idea from SILENTHILLchan. Silent Hill opts to take a different approach to punishing Eddie.

The first challenge began in the apartment complex.

He hadn't really known what was going on. There had been a pizza in the fridge, before he shoved the corpse in- no he didn't, he had nothing to do with it, swear. It had too much pineapple on it. Eddie didn't really like Hawaiians, but he ate it anyway. Well, that is, after he dealt with that.. mannequin thing. It had barged in on him before he took a bite and started flailing everywhere, knocking the box out of his hands and trying to pick the pizza slices up with the little nubby feet on it's top half.

Eddie shot it, and ate the whole pizza. Now he felt sick, and he was throwing up.

The next challenge came in the streets of Silent Hill. There was a pizza box just lying on the intersection, so he opened it. This pizza had a lot of eggplant on it. Eddie wasn't sure how he felt about eggplant, but he decided to eat it. Just before he could pick up the first slice, a horrible acid-spraying.. person.. had ambushed him. But like the mannequin, it wasn't going for Eddie, but for the pizza. It didn't have much success getting the pizza into it's gaping chest cavity, though, because it had no arms. Eddie felt sorry for it, but he shot it. He didn't eat the pizza, though, because now it was covered in monster bile.

Laura had met him in the bowling alley. He hadn't been surprised to find pizza in there- if they could appear on the streets, they would sure as hell be in a bowl-a-rama's kitchen. She had challenged him to a pizza eating competition. It was actually quite cute, although any sensible young girl would've known that it was impossible to out-eat Eddie. Braver people had tried, and failed, before. Eddie half-suspected it was just an excuse to snag free pizza. He didn't shoot her. She didn't even get to pick up a slice before James came in and scared his opponent away. James didn't seem interested in an eat-off. Eddie ate the whole pizza, and threw up outside.

He had wandered out of the bowl-a-rama, and his amblings had lead him into a stripclub. He had been quite surprised to find the side door unlocked- he had been even more surprised to find a hideously deformed nurse riding the poles like a pro. He had stared at her for a while, but the twitching bubbly head was just a total turnoff. She had left a pizza box on one of the bars, so he made a beeline for it. She didn't like that. With a fluid- if twitchy- movement, she had sprung off the pole and was cramming the slices of pizza into the various nooks and crannies of her head. It was actually fascinating to watch, in a disgusting way. Eddie watched her do that to five slices before shooting her and eating the rest. It had bacon on it. On his way out of the club, he vaguely considered peeling the nurses clothes off to see what monstrocities lay in wait underneath, but decided he'd get a dozen STDs just from touching the shirt.

On his way past the hospital, he had seen a dozen giant roaches swarming over a grimy pizza box. He left that well alone. His standards were admittedly low, but even he wasn't one to fight with bugs.

He went into Brookhaven on a whim, wondering if he'd find any more of the freakish nurses, but instead managed to lock himself in a room with odd blobs of flesh hanging from lattices on the ceiling. By this time, he wasn't surprised at all to see a pizza box resting on the desk in the far corner. It smelt good. Unfortunately, the ceiling monsters had managed to devise a method of picking the slices up with their hideous feet and flicking it up to whatever bizarre orifice functioned as a mouth. They had gotten through nearly three quarters of the box before Eddie managed to kill them, and by that time the smell of pizza had been replaced with the smell of feet. He held his breath, picked off the bits the monsters had touched and ate the rest.

Now Eddie found himself in a prison's cafeteria. How had he ended up here? There was a man with a red triangle on his head on one of the benches. Was he.. yes. He was eating a pizza. What was it with this town and pizzas?

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to be continued


End file.
